Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I was in Tennessee and they hated me. They knew I came in from California.
A guy stood up and said, "At least here in Tennessee we don't drive all over our freeways and shoot and kill people!...
I was interested in joining the National Guard because it enabled me to go to law school as soon as possible.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle...
I was in the Fine Arts department's office talking to the secretary.
There was a document laying on her desk, for hiring a lady to model for the art department....
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope.
We're surrounded. -- Steven Wrigh...
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies".
So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -- Steven Wrigh...
I was in the store the other day and a salesperson came up to me and said, "Can I help you?
I said, "Yea, give me what I need." She said, "I don't know what you need" I said, "You started it....
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands.
Her name was "woman"....
I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York. Really? Wow. How do you do it? -- Denis Leary
I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago.
I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no. -- Woody Alle...

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