Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.
I was on a ski lift with a strange guy who announced that he just got out of prison and then asked me if I wanted to know why.
I reply "no". The guy answers anyway that he pushed a total stranger of...
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me - and I didn't hear it.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
-- Excerpt from insurance form....
I was on the grapefruit diet. I kind of goofed on that.
For breakfast I ate fifteen grape fruits. Now when I go to the bathroom I keep squirting myself in the eye....
I was out in the backyard one beautiful day. I said to my mother, "Mama, why don't I have no sister or no brother?
She said, "Go away, go play, don't worry your mother, dear. As lazy as your fath...
I was out on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding.
That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters....
I was out rowing in the lake the other day and when I came in, I noted that my name was spray painted several places on the pier.
Now, I've finally done it, achieved recognition from my piers! (Oh...
I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.
...
I was perfect--and then my parents got hold of me.

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