Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue-elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant? A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun....
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards.
Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A: He changes the domain....
Q: How does a single woman in New York get rid of cockroaches? A: She asks them for a commitment.
Q: How does a WASP propose marriage? A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?
Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only)....
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet....
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the experience....
Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it....

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