Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I find this corpse guilty of carrying a concealed weapon and I fine it $
40. -- Judge Roy Bean, finding a pistol and $40 on a man he'd just shot....
I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble. -- Augustus Caesa
I gave my love an Apple, that had no core; I gave my love a building, that had no floo
I wrote my love a program, that had no end; I gave my love an upgrade, with no cryin'....
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae We
I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise. -- Chauncey Depew
I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up the paper, read the obits.
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed....
I give you the man who -- the man who -- uh, I forgets the man who? -- Beauregard Bugleboy
I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs. -- H.L. Mencke
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)....

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