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• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly]....
• I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
  Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it, moves it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly, and says, 'Here, you can go....
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign.
  He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read....
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights....
• I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?
  '. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights.
  Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead.
  You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by....
• Skinner: Bart! Heh heh, welcome. Can I offer you a Diet Caffeine-Free Dr.
  Pepper or an individual fruit cocktail cup? Ba...