- One day John's tennis elbow was acting up and he decided to stop in and
see a doctor.
- Q: How many pre-meds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hold the light bulb, and two to pull out the chair
from under him!...
- The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
- A notorious hypochondriac who had established himself as the like and soul
of most dinner parties with outlandish descriptions of various ailments,
sat through one evening scarcely saying a word.
- A Cold is both positive and negative; sometimes the eyes have it,
sometimes the nose.
- A patient suffering from insomnia was told by her doctor to be sure
that she never went to bed on an empty stomach, but always had something to
"But, once you told me never to ea...
- A recently graduated GP prescribed some suppositories for one of his less
erudite patients, telling him to insert one in his rectum each morning
and evening and to come back a week later.
- What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man traveling
in her compartment.
"I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.
- The resident began his examination of an Elderly man by asking him
what brought him to the hospital.
The man replied, "An ambulance."
- You've heard the definition of a drug: any substance which, when
injected into a laboratory animal, produces a publication.
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