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Quotations By Famous People
- You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who
makes people happy,
but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe
diarrhea...
- Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to
calm myself down.
I'll go over to the person's house and ring the
doorbell...
- I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really high
notes,
I bet you can really see it in those genitals...
- If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying,
another
cute thing to tell him is "probably because...
- One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance,
I was going to
take my little nephew to Disneyland...
- When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman.
After school
we'd all go play in his cave, and every...
- In weightlifting, I don't think sudden,
uncontrolled urination should
automatically disqualify...
- When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed
it.
Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped...
- Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack
in the ground,
and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail
your...
- If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like
enchiladas,
because that's what He's getting...
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