Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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My father invented the burglar alarm--which unfortunately was stolen from him. -- Victor Borge
My father is credit manager at a funeral home. His bosses have a card that they hand out.
It says Thank You for Smoking -- Your local undertaker....
My father? My father left when I was quite young.
Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol. -- George Carli...
My father originated the limbo dance--trying to get into a pay toilet. -- Slappy White
My father said, "Bring along your best girl." This is something you say to a pimp! -- Bill Mahe
My father said, "Mike, if you masturbate you'll go blind.
I said, "Dad--I'm over here." -- Mike Binde...
My father's brother, but no more like my father Than I to Hercules.
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet -- Act i, Sc. 2...
My father's great dread was going senile, said one aristocrat, apologizing for his father, who was happily exposing himself in the orangery.
But now he has, he's enjoying himself enormously. -- Jil...
My father taught me three things: 1: Never mix whiskey with anything but water.
2: Never try to draw to an inside straight. 3: Never discuss business with anyone who refuses to give his name....
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. -- Abraham Lincol

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