Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape so as not to frighten the dogs.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If they knock heads, the implosion will suck all air out of the room.
If they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Much Ado about Nothing -- Act iii, Sc. 3...
If they mention penguins, be afraid. Be very afraid!
If they only married when they fell in love most people would die unwed.
If they put malt in beer and malt in milk, why not beer in milk?
If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're mistaken!
-- Homer in "Homer's Odyssey" , from The Simpso...
If they try to rush me, I always say, "I've only got one other speed--and it's slower.
-- Glenn Ford...
If they won't allow me to put up the actual flag, I will take my own.
-- Deshun Deysel, member of the current Everest Assault Team...
If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink
for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. -- New Testament -- Romans xii, 20...

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