Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out. If thy dick offends thee, whack it off.
If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.
...
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If things improve with age, I'm nearly MAGNIFICENT!
If things were left to chance, they'd be better. -- Langin's Law
If this bill [for the admission of Orleans Territory as a State] passes, it is my deliberate opinion that it is virtually a dissolution of the Unio
hat it will free the States from their moral obli...
If this country is worth saving, it's worth saving at a profit. -- H. L. Hu
if (ThisDay() != MyDay) DosSleep(UntilNextday)
If this doesn't work, UPGRADE!

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