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if (quackslike() == duck) return(duck)
If quitting in a huff fails, see Rule #1. -- Liberal Rule #12
If Q was female, would he be called O?
If "Q" were to be castrated, would he become "O"?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
If rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer. -- Morton's Law
If reading this on a BBS, press [ALT-H] for an IQ test ...
If Reagan is the answer, it must have been a VERY silly question.
If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.
If real life were fiction, you couldn't get it published!
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