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If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them.
If he had half a brain, his ass would be lopsided.
If he had two ideas in his head, they would fall out with each other. -- Johnso
If Helen Keller is alone in a forest and falls, does she make a sound?
If he lived his life over again, he'd still fall in love with himself.
If her brains were put in a hummingbird, it would fly backwards.
If her lips are on fire and she trembles in your arms, forget her.
She's got malaria. -- Jackie Kanno...
If HE'S a DUCK, then I'm a dirty skunk! <BLAM!> -- Daffy Duck
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
If his brain were a TV, the slogan would be "All static, all the time!
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