Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If I do prove her haggard, Though that her jesses were my dear heart-strings, I 'ld whistle her off and let her down the wind, To prey at fortune.
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Othello -- Ac...
If I download another byte, there will be an immediate Upload!
If I drink this funny-looking beer, will my pee turn green, too?
If I'd wanted it today, I'd have asked tomorrow..
If I'd written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people - including me - would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today.
Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous co...
If I ever become a mummy, I'm going to have it so when somebody opens my lid, a boxing glove on a spring shoots out.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing.
-- Deep Thoughts, by...
If I ever get around to writing that language depompisifier, it will change almost all occurrences of the word paradigm into example or model.
-- Herbie Blashtfal...
If I ever get real rich, I hoe I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse-as when a man shoots himself.

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