Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
If your mother knew what you're doing, she'd probably hang her head and cry.
If your parents don't have kids, neither will you.
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
-- Fran Lebowitz...
If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a piggy-back ride on a buzz-saw. -- W.C. Field
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
-- Jack Handey...
If you're careful enough, nothing bad or good will ever happen to you.
If you're carrying a torch, put it down. The Olympics are over.
If you're constantly being mistreated, you're cooperating with the treatment.
If you're crossing the nation in a covered wagon, it's better to have four strong oxen than 100 chickens.
Chickens are OK but we can't make them work together yet. -- Ross Bott, Pyramid U.S., on mu...

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