Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If I could stick my pen in my heart, I would spill it all over the stage.
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya, Would you think the boy was strange?...
If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again....
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around.
Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble...
If *I* had a hammer, there'd be no more folk singers.
IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it.
There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.
-- Eugene P. Gallaghe...
If I had any humility I would be perfect. -- Ted Turne
If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.
-- Frank Sinatra AS USUAL, YOUR INFORMATION STINKS....
If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this trip....

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