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If anything can go wrong, it will.
If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?
If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?
If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls asleep or point out any mountains looming up ahead .
.. ...
If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.
If God had intended Man to Walk, He would have given him Feet.
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