Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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When I was born, my family was so poor my mother couldn't afford to use talcum powder on me.
So she used to douse me with kitchen baking soda ....
When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
-- Jackie Verno...
When I was called upon to be Prime Minister, now nearly two years ago, there were not many applicants for the job.
Since then perhaps the market has improved. -- Sir Winston Churchill, Speech, Jan. 1...
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
When I was eight, I played Little League. I was on fi
I stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a direct line....
When I was five, my parents moved to Texas. When I was nine, I found them.
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round.
There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded....
When I was growing up, all my friends wanted to have sex with anything that moved.
Why limit yourself?" I told them. -- Emo Philip...
When I was growing up, my mom wanted me to become a priest, which I think is a tough occupation.
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle.
A little old lady had to help me across the street. -- Rod Schmid...

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