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• When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.
  -- Rod Schmid...
• The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys.
  But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it....
• I can see him a'comin' With his big boots on, With his big thumb out, He wants to get me.
  He wants to hurt me. He wants to bring me down. But some time later, When I feel a little straighter, I'll come across a stranger Who'll remind me of the danger, And then....
• SAGITTARIUS (Nov.22 - Dec.21) Your efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will backfire when you learn that she was waiting for a bus.
  Subdue impulse you have to push her out into traffic....
• I was kicked out of the boy scouts for eating a brownie....!
• My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
  I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Moving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly approached by a stranger who had slipped from the shadows nearby.
  "Please, sir," pleaded the stranger, "would you be so kind as to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?...
• I said to my old husband, "I'm gonna take you out into the country for a picnic.
  Do you like the country?" He said, "Sure I do. When I was a little boy, I used to live in the country....