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• I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot. -- Steven Wrigh
• Where was that stooped and mealy-colored man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
  -- Joseph Heller,"Catch-22...
• I was walking down the street the other day when I saw this guy with two wooden legs, but real feet.
• I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
  I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours....
• I was walking down the street and all of a sudden the prescription for my eye-glasses ran out.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
  I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Excuse me, Sir, said a surveyor to a person in the street, I am a surveyor and I wonder if you could please help me by holding this measuring tape for a second or two.
  In most cases the stranger would oblige. And the surveyor, who was Horace de Vere Cole, an arch-joker during the 1920s would go around the corner to ask another person to hold the other end of the tape....
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...