Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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Two peanuts went to New York. One was assaulted.
Two peas in a pod! Positively two peas in a pod. -- Lady Cranleigh, BLACK ORCHID
Two people in every one who works for the ABC is schizophrenic.
Two people kissing always look like fish.
Two people were born in Indiana, one went off to sea and the other became the Vice President of the United States.
Neither was heard from again....
Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
wo pi: quant. The number of years it takes to finish one's thesis.
Occurs in stories in the following form: "He started on his thesi...
Two psychiatrists meet. One says to the other, "I went home for Easter and I made a terrible Freudian slip.
The other said, "What did you say?" He said, "Well, I started to say to my mother, "Pa...
Two rather dumb teams were playing one another in football.
The visiting team heard the ref's whistle and thought it was the sign that the game had ended, whereupon the team left the field....
Two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it.
the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it. -- Thomas Love Peacock...

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