Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.
-- Femo's Law of Automotive Engine Repairing...
If you drop the soap, is it dirty?
If you drop your keys into molten lava just let 'em go 'cause, man, they're gone.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If you dye your hair, don't use water-soluble dyes.
It is hell trying to get the colour out of your eyebrows....
If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day.
If you eat Twinkies Lite, do you kill one third less people?
No, but you get a much lighter sentence...
If you eat yogurt, you'll have a lot of culture.
If you elect Bill Clinton and Al Gore that would be a disaster for agriculture.
If you encounter these negroes shoot first, ask questions later.
-- LAPD squad-car computer message, as quoted in the Christopher Report, 7/91...
If you enjoy working with people be a morticia

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