Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
I wish there was a knob on the TV where you could turn up the intelligence.
They've got one called brightness, but it doesn't seem to work. -- Gallaghe...
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I wish you were a Scotch on the rocks.
I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has bee...
I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.
I wonder what the leash and collar set does for excitement? -- Tramp, Lady and the Tramp
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
-- Steven Wrigh...

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