I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
and Superman away.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
and Superman away.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Related:
- I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND
Superman away.
Deep Thoughts, by Jack... - IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it.
There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley,... - I THINK MAN INVENTED THE CAR by instinct.
-- Jack Handley,
The New Mexican, 1988... - I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for
paneling.
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988... - I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always
end up saying,
"Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would... - WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to
laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.
Struggle to become a parrot or something. -- Jack... - IF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is,
"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying... - I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day.
Then that night, they burned the wheel. -- Jack Handley... - I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best.
We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave...
From the same category:
- You don't really jerk out the eyeball, you just sorta *spring* it so
it pops outa the socket.
Big Frank, in "Hells Angels" by Hunter S.... - What is left when honour is lost?
-- Publius Syrus (42 BC)
-
Maxim... - All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
Sean... - Se non e' vero, e' molto ben trovato.
[If it is not true,
is very well found]... - The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
Abbie...
