- Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room.
Number them... - Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night.
If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a... - Recite entire movie scripts (e.g.
"The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost... - Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo.
If your roommate complains, explain that it is for... - Collect all your urine in a
small jug... - Chain yourself to your roommate's bed.
Get him/her to bring you food... - Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it.
Turn it off when you are... - Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just
for a couple of weeks... - Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come,
pretend nothing happened... - Smoke
ballpoint pens...
