- If at first you do succeed - try to hide your astonishment.
- If I ever needed a brain transplant, I'd choose a teenager's because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
- If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30
years, a Rolls-Royce would cost $
5, get 300 miles per gallon, and blow up once a year killing all passengers inside....
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
- If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.
- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
- If the human brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
- If the odds are a million to one against something occuring, chances are 50-50 it will.
- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
- If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.