Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

Home › Fortune Cookies › Miscellaneous Collections

When I was a child, I was so fat that I was the one chosen to play Bethlehem in the school Nativity play.
-- The Sea Monster (Jo Brand)...
When I was a child, love to me was what the sea is to a fish
omething you swim in while you are going about the important affairs of life. -- P. L. Trave...
When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves.
And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
When I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping.
When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?
He answered, If the zoo wants you let them come and get you. -- Jerry Lewi...
When I was a kid, I was an imaginary playmate.
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?
-- Steven Wrigh...
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us....
When I was a kid my mother switched religions from Catholic to Episcopalian.
Which is what, Catholic Lite? One third less guilt than that regular religion!...
When I was a kid we downloaded at 300bps and ENJOYED it!

< previous

8572