Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive you up a wall.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you were a mushroom, why would people always be inviting you to parties?
Because you'd be a real fun gi....
If you were an Armadillo, you'd worship trees, too!
If you were any more perfect, Data, I'd have to write you up in a Starfleet medical textbook.
I am already listed in several bio-mechanical texts doctor....
If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad?
Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it?...
If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it.
So sue me." -- Deep...
If you were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere. -- Sam Spade
If you were as smart as you think you are, you wouldn't be a cop." -- Famous Last Word
If you were everyone but one person I would listen to everyone else.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? -- Steven Wrigh

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