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If you're happy, you're successful.
If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you're looking for trouble, I can offer a wide selection.
If you rely on Murphy's law, everything will go as planned (but don't count on it.
) -- Sullivan's Observatio...
If you're normal, who wants to be normal?
If you're not a hemmoroid get off my ass!
If you're not a player, you're not in the game. -- Vinnie Terrenova's mob motto on WISEGUY
If you're not careful, you're going to catch something.
If you're not confused, go over it one more time; you've made an error somewhere. -- Greg Praino
If you're not confused, you must try harder.
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