Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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You know your apartment is small... when you can't know its position and velocity at the same time.
you put your key in the lock and it breaks the window....
You know you're getting old when you're Dad, and you're measuring your daughter for camp clothes, and there are certain measurements only her mother is allowed to take.
You know you're in a small town when... You don't use turn signals because everybody knows where you're going.
You're born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants becau...
You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home fro...
You know you're in trouble when... (1) Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
(2) You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. (3) You call Suicide Preve...
You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
(2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your inco...
You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.
You learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE "SOMEONE ELSE".

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