Related:

• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your spouse.
• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your wife says, "Good morning, Bill," and your name is George.
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any....
• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water.
  .. the day after you bought a waterbed....
• 10. Whenever you speak, you say "say" in front of all your sentences.
  9. You attempt to "goto /room/dorm/Shaw/east/156" to get home....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.