Related:

• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when the bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces have locked together.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
  (2) You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.