Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
When I was growing up my mother kept telling me we're just friends.
I tell ya I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my Dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought....
When I was in college, there were a lot of four-letter words you couldn't say in front of girls.
Now you can say them. But you can't say "girls"....
When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam
I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. -- Woody Alle...
When I was little, I went into a pet shop and they asked how big I'd get. -- Rodney Dangerfield
When I was seven years old, I was once reprimanded by my mother for an act of collective brutality in which I had been involved at school.
A group of seven-year-olds had been teasing and tormenting a...
When I was young we didn't have MTV; we had to take drugs and go to concerts. -- Steven Pearl
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or no
but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened....
When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
When I works, I works hard. When I sits, I sits easy. And when I thinks, I goes to sleep.

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