Related:

• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• Sorry that we're not at home. Please leave a message after the tone.
  When we get in, We'll give you a ring. Until then, wait by the phone....
• OK, one more time... This is our answering machine.
  .. This is the message on our answering machine.....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
  .. (or) I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...