Related:

• Thank you for calling, no doubt, As you can guess, we're out.
  When we get home, We'll call on the phone. Until then, just hang about....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow.
  So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow....
• Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call.
  (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same....
• Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring.
  Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1....
• WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
  But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later....
• Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight?
  Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob... Try to take over the world!...
• You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
  Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....