Related:

• Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back.
  .. (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good....
• Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence.
  I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream....
• Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.
  On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone....
• We're not home now. Leave your name and number and we'll call you back as soon as you are a vegetarian.
  (Replace "vegetarian" with prejudice of your choice....
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• Jack Webb voice:) This is the city. Lambertville, New Jersey.
  I work here. I carry a tune. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411....
• I just got a car phone. I'm not here at the moment.
  Leave me a message and I'll call you when I'm out....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...