Related:

• Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racke
  ) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence....
• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• All our answering machines are busy. Please hold. (Pause.
  ) All our answering machines are... (CLICK) This is the answering machine of....
• If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
  Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message....
• Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone.
  Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone....
• Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, "Who's there?
  ) Isn't that *my* question? (Pause.) Please leave a message....
• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....
• Creamed asparagus! BEEP -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle