Related:

• quot;Listen, sugar" she whispered back, there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake him up now.
  " "I can't believe that," Charlie said....
• The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible.
  Such instances of faulty writ- ing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining ....
• Help,,,my (S)ex drive just crashed!!!
• My ex wife's other car is a BROOM
• I was driving through North Wales one day last summer, when I had the misfortune to run out of petrol right out in the sticks.
  It was about 5 miles to the nearest house, but when I got there the farmer who lived in it was very hospitable and offered to drive me back to my car with a can of petrol, as long as I stayed to have a bite to eat first....
• Then there was the guy whose roommate caught him pouring beer in his hand.
  "What are you doing?" he asked. "I wanna score tonight," the roommate with the beer replied, "so I'm getting my date drunk....
• A nifty, if difficult, practical joke: This only really works with friends (preferably the trusting type).
  Get the victim to your house, then talk (or do whatever you normally do together) for a while....
• Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have had to summerize correctly what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.
  The following quotes were taken >From those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun Paper....
• The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest words.
  These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining....