I was driving through North Wales one day last summer, when I had
the misfortune to run out of petrol right out in the sticks.
It was about 5 miles to the nearest house, but when I got
there the farmer who lived in it was very hospitable and
offered to drive me back to my car with a can of petrol, as long
as I stayed to have a bite to eat first. I accepted grate-
fully, and upon entering the parlour I was amazed to see a pig
with a wooden leg reclining in a rocking chair, reading the "Cwm
Penmachno Evening Courier" and smoking a pipe. I asked the farmer
about this, and he said, "Oh, that's a fine pig. One day my
wife was just driving out of our gate onto the road when a
bloody great lorry which she hadn't noticed - we tend to forget
to look out for traffic up here, you know - came tearing along
and smashed into the side of her car. The lorry driver was
killed, and my wife was pinned into her seat. Some petrol was
leaking out of her tank, and the pig here could see that there
was a danger the car would go up in flames if he didn't do
something pretty quickly. So he leapt over the fence, sprinted
over to the car, wrenched the door off its hinges and pulled my
wife away just in time to save her from a horrible death".
"My goodness, that's certainly a very fine pig!" I ex-
claimed. "Now I can understand why you treat him so well. But
one thing is still puzzling me - tell me, how does he come to be
wearing that wooden leg?"
"Ah well", said the farmer, "when you've got a pig like that you
don't want to eat him all at once".
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...