You Might Be In The Health Care Field If


  • Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.

  • You find humor in other people's stupidity.

  • You believe in serial spraying of Prozac.

  • Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.

  • You believe that "Shallow Gene Pool" should be a diagnosis.

  • You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.

  • You think unspeakable evil will befall you is anyone says: "Boy, it sure is quiet around here."

  • When you are out in public, you compliment complete strangers on their veins.

  • You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide - Getting It Right The First Time."

  • You have ever had to leave a patient's room before laughing hysterically.

  • You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

  • You have ever restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience.

  • You commonly utter the phrase: "What changed tonight at 2am that made this emergency after 6 months?!"

  • You believe that "Too Stupid To Live" should be a diagnosis.

  • You think putting a Valium salt lick in the ER waiting room is a novel idea.

  • When you mention vegetables, you are not thinking of a food group.

  • You have been exposed to so many x-rays you don't even bother with birth control.

  • You have used the words "Healthcare Reform" to strike fear in the hearts of your co-workers.

  • You have heard, "Why, I don't know how that got stuck there" too many times.
  • More Medical

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    2. [page] 23rd Psalm For Psychiatrists
    3. [page] 2 Drops Every 4 Hours
    4. [page] 90 Year Old And The Doctor
    5. [page] A Brief Visit To The Doctor
    6. [page] A Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients
    7. [page] A Few New Doctors Remarks On Patient Charts
    8. [page] A Med Student S Guess
    9. [page] A Medical Funeral
    10. [page] A Short History Of Medicine
    11. [page] A Doctor Is Walking Down The Street And Sees
    12. [page] A Lady Walks Into Her Doctors Office
    13. [page] Advice For Pre-meds
    14. [page] All Nurses Go To Heaven
    15. [page] Ask The Doctor
    16. [page] At The Baseball Game
    17. [page] Bandersnatch Liveforever
    18. [page] Cages Cancer Rats
    19. [page] Cheaper Than A Doctor
    20. [page] Cost Healthcare
    21. [page] Cost Saving Memo
    22. [page] Creative Medical Terms
    23. [page] Death Scandal
    24. [page] Dentist Visit
    25. [page] Doc-isms
    26. [page] Docs Out Hunting
    27. [page] Doctor Demented
    28. [page] Doctor Doctor
    29. [page] Doctor Doctor Gimme The News
    30. [page] Doctor Howards Bedside Manner
    31. [page] Doctor Says I Have A Nice
    32. [page] Doctors Appointment
    33. [page] Doctors Magic Finger
    34. [page] Doctors Nurses Lightbulbs
    35. [page] Doctors Orders
    36. [page] Don T Anger The Nurse
    37. [page] Dr Doctor
    38. [page] EMS FAQs
    39. [page] ER Tales
    40. [page] Emergency Department Ping Pong
    41. [page] Ethical Patient Behavior
    42. [page] Experimental Pills
    43. [page] Flu Strong Enough Hercules
    44. [page] Gingko Viagra
    45. [page] Graduate Nurses Versus Experienced Nurses
    46. [page] HMO CEO
    47. [page] HMO Friendship
    48. [page] HMO Music
    49. [page] HMO No Docs
    50. [page] He Is Not That Sick
    51. [page] Heart Attack
    52. [page] Heaven Hmo
    53. [page] History Of Voices In Your Head
    54. [page] Hospital Memo
    55. [page] Hospitals Minijokes
    56. [page] Hotline
    57. [page] Hungry Baby
    58. [page] Is It Serious
    59. [page] Kemosabe Waters The Bushes
    60. [page] Kids Play Doctor
    61. [page] Life In Hypochondria
    62. [page] Looking For A Cure For Cancer
    63. [page] Marketing Slogans For Viagra
    64. [page] Math Quiz For The Emergency Department Staff
    65. [page] Media Opinions
    66. [page] Medical Breakthrough
    67. [page] Medical Report Blunders
    68. [page] Medical Specialists
    69. [page] Medical Surgical
    70. [page] Medical Truths
    71. [page] Mental Illness Of The Month Club
    72. [page] More Drugs In Development
    73. [page] Murphys Law Of EMS
    74. [page] New Drug Names
    75. [page] Not What The Doctor Ordered
    76. [page] Nurse Doctor Doctor Nurse
    77. [page] Obsession
    78. [page] Old Habits Die Hard
    79. [page] Old Wives Tales
    80. [page] Overheard At Medieval Medical School
    81. [page] Oy Of HMOs
    82. [page] Patient
    83. [page] Phobialist
    84. [page] Playing Doctor
    85. [page] Preparing For Your Hospital Experience
    86. [page] Psych Cure Oops
    87. [page] Psych Discussion
    88. [page] Psychiatric Medicine Still Dunno Causes
    89. [page] Psychiatrist Mom
    90. [page] Psychological Tests
    91. [page] Psychotherapist Business Troubles
    92. [page] Real Weird Medical Excuses
    93. [page] Rosenberg Thepediatrician
    94. [page] Russian Doctor For The TransGendered
    95. [page] Santa Case Report
    96. [page] Signs You May Be Suffering From Depression
    97. [page] Signs You Need A New Doctor
    98. [page] Smoke Sign
    99. [page] Smoking1000
    100. [page] South African Hospital
    101. [page] Such A Dilemma
    102. [page] The Dangers Of A Hot Bath
    103. [page] The Doctor
    104. [page] The Doctors Convention
    105. [page] The Doctors Little Voice
    106. [page] The Rules Of EMS
    107. [page] Things You Don T Want To Hear During Surgery
    108. [page] Think Of It This Way
    109. [page] Thirteen Thirteen Thirteen
    110. [page] Those Conceited Bastard Doctors
    111. [page] Three Surgeons
    112. [page] Tombstones Ins Hypo
    113. [page] Top 10 Signs You Need A New HMO
    114. [page] Types Of Doctors
    115. [page] Viruses Coming To Town
    116. [page] Welcome To The Psychiatric Hotline
    117. [page] What Doctors Say
    118. [page] While At Dentists Nytimes
    119. [page] Woman Begs Doctor
    120. [page] You Know You Ve Joined A Cheap New HMO When
    121. [page] You Might Be A Nurse If
    122. [page] You Might Be In The Health Care Field If
    123. [page] Your First Mammogram
    124. [page] Youre So Ugly Doctor 2