Signs You May Be Suffering From Depression

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  • You've got enough Prozac in your purse to tranquilize King Kong.
  • You really lose it whenever someone says, "Good morning."
  • You spend more time in bed than a hooker at a Shriners convention.
  • You keep your house so dark that mushrooms are growing in the carpet.
  • Given a choice, you'd have no preference between sex or a root canal.
  • On a really bad day, you wouldn't come to the door if it was Publishers Clearing House.
  • You list Dr. Kevorkian as a character reference.
  • Alcohol gives you strength and food settles your nerves.
  • Your hands shake so badly that you can brush your teeth without any voluntary movement.
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