- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
- Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doctor: Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
- Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Doctor: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God!
Doctor: When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the...
- Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
Doctor: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?
- Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doc: I never make rash promises!
- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog!
Doctor: So what's wrong with that?
I think I'm going to croak!
- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bridge!
Doctor: What's come over you?
2 buses, 3 motorbikes and a train.
- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards!
Doctor: I'll deal with you later.
- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a needle!
Doctor: I see your point.
- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Pull yourself togerther man!
- Doctor, Doctor I have 59 seconds to live!
Doctor: Wait a minute will ya!