Ned: Well...?
Todd: I know!
Ned: No, son, we've got to let Bart and Lisa get one. Come on, this
one's easy.
Lisa: [pause] We give up.
Ned: Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion's head,
tail made out of snakes...who else is it going to be?
Bart: [unsure] Jesus?
Ned: [yelling] Je...Jes...don't you kids know anything? The Serpent
of Rehaboam?
[the kids look blank]
The Well of Zohassadar?
[the kids look blank]
The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?
Maude: Wait. That's the kind of thing you should start learning at
baptism.
Lisa: Um, ahem, actually, you see, ahem, we were never baptised.
[Ned groans and faints]
Maude: Oh! Neddy? Neddy? [waves smelling salts under him]
Neddy!
Ned: [wakes up] No, that ain't gonna do it. [faints again]
-- How to make Ned faint,
"Home Sweet Home-Diddily-Dum-Doodily"
Todd: I know!
Ned: No, son, we've got to let Bart and Lisa get one. Come on, this
one's easy.
Lisa: [pause] We give up.
Ned: Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion's head,
tail made out of snakes...who else is it going to be?
Bart: [unsure] Jesus?
Ned: [yelling] Je...Jes...don't you kids know anything? The Serpent
of Rehaboam?
[the kids look blank]
The Well of Zohassadar?
[the kids look blank]
The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?
Maude: Wait. That's the kind of thing you should start learning at
baptism.
Lisa: Um, ahem, actually, you see, ahem, we were never baptised.
[Ned groans and faints]
Maude: Oh! Neddy? Neddy? [waves smelling salts under him]
Neddy!
Ned: [wakes up] No, that ain't gonna do it. [faints again]
-- How to make Ned faint,
"Home Sweet Home-Diddily-Dum-Doodily"
Related:
- Ned: Good night, my little foundlingadings.
Bart:
But it's only 7:00. Lisa: Yeah, the sun is still... - Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily... - Bart: [shudders] I hate this place.
Lisa: Yeah. It seems like our house,
but everything's got a creepy Pat Boone-ish quality... - Ned: Until this, I never thought Homer and Marge were bad parents,
but now I know you kids need a less hellbound family... - Ned: Well, children, it's Saturday night. So, what say we let our
hair down and play "Bombardment"?
Bart+Lisa: Yay! Ned: Of Bible questions? Rod+Todd... - Homer: Wait a minute: we all know the one thing we won't need in the
future!
Left-handed stores. That's you, Flanders! ... - Bart: I never heard Maggie laugh like that before.
Lisa:
Well, when was the last time Dad gave her that kind... - Goodman: Kids, meet your new foster family.
Rod+Todd:
We love you! Bart: [getting hugged] Uh...please... - Marge: I'm sure your insurance will cover the house.
Maude: Uh, well, no. Neddy doesn't believe in insurance...
From the same category:
- Burns: I was never one to back away from a snowball fight!
Smithers, you may fire at will! Smithers: Certainly... - Lisa: It blew up the bridge! We're doomed.
Homer:
It's times like this I wish I were a religious man... - Willy: I'm telling ye, I could nay have shot Burns.
[uncrosses, then recrosses, his legs; everyone groans]... - Umpire: Okay, let's go over the ground rules.
You can't leave first until you chug a beer.
Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have... - Lisa: [wiping her dress] Oh, I can't get the smell of slurry out
of my clothes.
I was a fool to help that horrible old man! Homer...
