Announcer: It's "Channel Six Action News."
[several explosions are shown]
Bart: Ah, Action News. The last place an impressionable kid can
go for TV violence.
Announcer: And now, here's your Action Anchor[tm], Kent Brockman.
Kent: [jumping in, panting] Hello, I'm Kent Brockman! Our top
stories tonight: a tremendous _explosion_ in the price of
lumber, President Reagan _dyes_...his hair, plus Garry
Trudeau and his new musical comedy revue. But first! Let's
check the death count from the killer storm bearing down on
us like a shotgun full of snow.
Weatherman: Well, Kent, as of now the death count is zero. But it _is_
ready to shoot right up.
Kent: Oh my God. [shakes fist at heaven] Damn you snow!
-- Doing what's needed for ratings, "Lisa on Ice"
[several explosions are shown]
Bart: Ah, Action News. The last place an impressionable kid can
go for TV violence.
Announcer: And now, here's your Action Anchor[tm], Kent Brockman.
Kent: [jumping in, panting] Hello, I'm Kent Brockman! Our top
stories tonight: a tremendous _explosion_ in the price of
lumber, President Reagan _dyes_...his hair, plus Garry
Trudeau and his new musical comedy revue. But first! Let's
check the death count from the killer storm bearing down on
us like a shotgun full of snow.
Weatherman: Well, Kent, as of now the death count is zero. But it _is_
ready to shoot right up.
Kent: Oh my God. [shakes fist at heaven] Damn you snow!
-- Doing what's needed for ratings, "Lisa on Ice"
Related:
- Kent: And, like Icarus, the rocket foolishly soared too high, and
lost control of its servo guidance mechanism, leaving us
with some.
..[checks watch] six hours to live. So, let's go live now to the charred remains of the only bridge out of town with Arnie Pie and Arnie in the Sky!... - Bart: All right! Snow day. No school tomorrow! [throws his
schoolbook on the fire]
Lisa
That doesn't mean you don't have to do your book report.... - Shutton: Uh, Dave Shutton, Springfield Daily Shopper.
Who are you? Where are you going? Ke... - Brockman: Kent Brockman at the Action News desk. A massive tanker has
run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of
gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.
Lisa: [gasps] Oh, no! Homer: It'll be okay, honey.... - Scott: And now over to Kent Brockman for some grim economic news.
Kent: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office.... - Kent: [answering the door] Hello, I'm Kent Brockman.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I lost my dog. Kent: Mm hm.... - Marge: Oh, give yourself up, Homie!
Bart: No, Dad!
Shoot your way out! Marge: [grunts at Bart] [On TV, Homer barges through some doors in the theater, and is shot quite graphically through various parts of the body.... - Buffer: Celebrities at ringside tonight:
Star of the McBain action films, and feature player in the
Hollywood prostitution scandal
Rainer-r-r Wolfcastle! [applause] TV anchorman and Springfield institution, Mr.... - Bart: I'm telling you, I _do_ work on the Krusty show.
Look at the credits! [presses "play"] Krusty...
