Simpsons Wit

Simpsons Wit

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Homer [beginning a speech]: If I could just say a few words.
.. I'd be a better public speaker. Episode: 3F20, Much Apu About Nothing...
Proctor: All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes....
Grandma Simpson & Lisa are singing "How many roads must a man walk down?
ogether. Homer overhears and says, "Eight!". Lisa...
Lionel Huntz tells Homer: "This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story Episode
Homer at the All-you-can-eat restaura...
T.V. Commercial for the new Springfield Waterfront shopping cente
More over Baltimore, Springfield has stolen your idea!...
Arnold Schwartzenegger at a Press Conference for the opening of a Planet Hollywood (type restaurant) in Springfield
Yes, it's true, the menu was personally approved by my secretary. Episode: Homer i...
Yuppie going into Mo's Bar: This place isn't a Faux-Dive
his places is a dive! Episode: Homer in the all-you-can-eat restaura...
Marge to Lisa on why people don't hire 8 year olds as babysitte
People want to hire someone mature, someone whom they can trust, that's why they hire teen agers....
Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure." Episode
Apu: I've just enrolled in a screenwriting class. I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu, pushed too far by convenience store bandits.
I call it 'Hands Off My Jerky, Turkey. Episode...

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