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• The worst thing that you can do to someone is cause them to hire a lawyer.
• Why did you hire that idiot? You can't fool all of the people all of the time, so I'm breeding them for stupidity.
  -- President Weishaup...
• People do not hire lawyers because they want justice.
  People hire lawyers because they want revenge. -- Solomon Sho...
• Always be smarter than the people who hire you.
• Marge: Bart, Lisa, it's 11:00 at night. Where do you think you're going?
  Bart: Downtown. Lisa: We gotta get seats for the Itchy & Scratchy parade....
• First-rate people hire first-rate people. Second-rate people hire third-rate people.
• Marge: I'm worried that you're making too big a deal of this silly little kiddie golf tournament.
  Homer: But Marge, but this is our big chance to show up the Flandereses....
• Success is being able to hire someone to mow the lawn while you play golf for exercise.
• Second-rate people hire third-rate people. -- Leo Rosten's law