Apu: I've Just Enrolled In A Screenwriting Class. I Yearn To Tell The Story Of An Idealistic Young Hindu, Pushed Too Far By Convenience Store Bandits.

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• I've just enrolled in the screenwriting class. I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu, pushed too far by convenience store bandits.
  I call it `Hands Off My Jerky, Turkey'....
• Burns: [off camera] Smithers! I want my tea! Marge
  Doesn't it bother you that he orders you around like that?...
• Man 1: I need one 29-cent stamp. Apu: That's $1.
  85. Man 2: I'll have $2.00 worth of gas, please. Apu...
• I visited Cyberspace - it was blurry and jerky.
• Krusty: [holding a gun] Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
  Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery....
• Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this.
  ...How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter?...
• Woman: Why would you want to work at a Kwik-E-Mart?
  Woods: To be honest, in my upcoming movie I'm going to be playing this tightly-wound convenience store clerk and, I kind of like to research my roles and really get into it....
• It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the '80's.
  Those were idealistic days... The candidacy of John Anderson, the rise of Supertramp, it was an exciting time to be young....
• Marge: Oh Homer, don't be jealous. I was a schoolgirl.
  The Beatles were very popular, and I had a crush on him....