Related:

• Proctor: All right, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
  Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter-- Procto...
• Homer [beginning a speech]: If I could just say a few words.
  .. I'd be a better public speaker. Episode: 3F20, Much Apu About Nothing...
• What you're saying is so understandable. And really, your only crime was violating U.
  S. law. -- Marge to Apu, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• Paul: What? She's leaving home? Lisa: Wow! Paul McCartney!
  I read about you in history class. So where's your wife Linda?...
• Homer: All right, Marge, I'll get you your nanny. And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War re-creation society I love so much.
  [at Moe's, everyone, including Moe, is dressed like 1800s military generals] Moe...
• Lisa: All right! Now you have all the Simpsons behind you.
  Apu: That's nice, although three of you are below voting age....
• Apu: Sir, it may surprise you to know that _I_ am an immigrant.
  Homer: You? Pfft, get out. -- Well, duh, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• What do you say we take a relaxed attitude towards work and watch the baseball game?
  The nye [New York] Mets are my favorite squadron....
• Quimby: Are those morons getting dumber or just louder?
  Assistant: [checks his clipboard] Dumber, sir. -- Dumb and dumber, "Much Apu About Nothing...