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Real programmers don't bring brown-bag lunches. If the vending machine doesn't sell it, they don't eat it.
Vending machines don't sell quiche....
Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate's form of documentation.
Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much good it did them....
Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes.
Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC after reaching puberty.
Real programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks....
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
Real Programs don't use shared text. Otherwise, how can they use functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness.
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