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If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.
If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius. -- Larry Leissne
If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year. -- Pickle's Law
If Corn Oil Is Made From Corn, What's Baby Oil Made From?
If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
if (crash) grab_ankles(); kiss_xxx_goodbye()
If crash occurs when using this program, discontinue use.
IF(!CRASH()) _THANK_GOD()
If criticism had any real power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now. -- Fred Alle
If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up.
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