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Miscellaneous Collections
- 1. If a student asks for a second time if you have read his
book report,
he did not read the book.
2. If daily class attendance...
- 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
2] Change majors.
3] Insert/remove blank lines at random...
- 1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.
(2) If a small boy can get dirty,
he will.
(3) If a teenager can go out, he will.
...
- 1) If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will
malfunction.
2) Not until a program has been in production for at...
- 1. If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks,
it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics...
- 1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
(2) If it does exist,
it's out of date.
(3) Only documentation for useless...
- 1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2.
If you drink a diet soda and a candy bar, these two...
- 1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only...
- 1) If someone says he will do something without fail,
he won't.
(2) The more people talk on the phone, the...
- 1. If the work has to be finished today, the part will roll to the most
inaccessible part of the room.
2. If it is heavy, it will hit your toe first.
3. You...
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