- 1. If a programmer's modification of an existing program
works, it's probably not what the users want.
2. Users don't know what they really want, but they know for
certain what they don't want.
-- Ma... - 1. If a student asks for a second time if you have read his
book report, he did not read the book.
2. If daily class attendance is mandatory, a scheduled exam
will produce increased absenteeism.... - 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
2] Change majors.
3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and execute.... - 1) If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.
(2) If a small boy can get dirty, he will.
(3) If a teenager can go out, he will.
-- Three Rules of Immutability... - 1) If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will
malfunction.
- 1. If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
4. If it's incomprehensible, it's mathematics.... - 1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
(2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.... - 1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2.
If you drink a diet soda and a candy bar, these two items will
automatically cancel each other out.... - 1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.... - 1) If someone says he will do something without fail, he won't.
(2) The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make....
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